Love Me or Leave Me Alone Read online

  His eyebrows went up into a ‘what?’ type gaze, and then Brian spoke, supplying his two cents like somebody asked for change.

  “Yeah, you know Eva don’t know no other name but the pretty boy Damien,” Brian actually had the nerve to say.

  The color must’ve drained from my face, but before I could respond, Ciara spoke up.

  “See! Now there you go bringing up horseshit. Come on in here, Brian, and let me get y’all some water or something. You must be about to have a heat stroke or something the way you sweating and funkin up my spot like that.”

  Leave it to Ciara to lighten the mood and cause a distraction. I was thankful for it because Tyler had left me feeling all kinda ways that I didn’t understand, and Brian with his tacky ass had me thinking of Damien again. Just then, my cell phone rang.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Hey honey, why aren’t you at work today? I was about to leave you a message to call me when you got home,” Ayanna asked.

  “Oh, hey girl. I just wasn’t feeling well today. You know with everything that went down yesterday and all.”

  She sighed. “Yeah, Ciara called me last night and we both said a prayer for you girl. So how are you Eva? And where are you by the way?”

  “I’m at Cici’s house trying to waste time and not wanting to be alone today.”

  “Well good, you shouldn’t be alone right now. I’m about to leave for lunch. Do you guys want to grab a bite to eat with me?” Ayanna asked.

  “Sounds good to me. Let me ask Cici.” I called out to Ciara. “Ciara, Ayanna wants to know if we want to go to lunch with her?”

  “Tell her sure. Let me just throw some clothes on.”

  “Yeah Ayanna, we’re coming. Where do you want to meet?” I asked.

  “Girl, I am craving NaTalia’s something awful! Let’s meet there in about fifteen minutes, okay?

  “Alright, we’ll be there,” I said and ended the call.

  “Am I invited too?” said a smooth and sexy voice that was a little too close to my ear for comfort.

  I jumped a little. “Tyler, you scared me! Have you been there the whole time?”

  He laughed, “Nah, I don’t eavesdrop, but I did hear you ask Ciara about lunch. So, you going to answer my question or what?”

  I decided that I wanted to entertain his sexy ass.

  “Now, why would I want you to join a bunch of women who are probably going to do some serious male bashing throughout the entire meal when I could just as easily invite you to a one on one dinner with just me for dessert?”

  It wasn’t like me to flirt so openly, but the best way to get over Damien was to open myself up to new ideas and prospects. Tyler stood there for a minute with a dumbfounded look on his face that gave way to a seductive smile. He still didn’t speak though. Before he could, Ciara bounced into the room wearing a brown sweater and some tan capri pants.

  “Uh oh, get it girl! That is too cute on you,” I complimented my friend.

  She smiled and did a model turn. “Tyler, don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?”

  He laughed, but he never took his eyes off me. His stare was so penetrating that I imagined he could see straight through to my soul.

  Tyler took a step towards me and whispered in my ear, “I love to try new things. You let me know when it’s time to start.”

  Then he walked away, his long bow legged stride turning me on even more as if that were possible. I just stood there breathing in deeply and letting a sly grin creep across my face. Ciara was watching the entire exchange.

  “Sooo, I guess now you know why I asked if you had seen him lately, huh?” she giggled.

  “Cici, you ain’t shit. You could’ve told me, or warned me, or something, damn!”

  “I know,” she sighed. “I know the man is fine. Believe me, I wanted to tell you, but then I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the look on your face right now. It’s priceless! Come on, let’s go eat. I’m about to starve!”

  We met Ayanna at NaTalia’s on Highway 68. It’s one of our favorite places to eat, hang out, and catch up with what’s going on in each other’s lives.

  “Eva Diva, I need to know, did you see Jay’s friend Tyler? If so, did you have on a bib?” Ayanna laughed.

  I laughed too. “Yanna, why didn’t you tell me how fine he is now? Miss Ciara sure didn’t fill a sistah in. I’m telling you, I almost forgot my own damn name when he walked in the door and spoke to me!”

  Our waiter approached. “Well don’t leave me out of the loop. I want to laugh too,” he said displaying a mouth full of metal that must’ve been costing his parents a grip.

  “Child, the content of this conversation is too graphic for young ears. Parental discretion is advised,” Ciara joked with the young waiter.

  “Yeah, we wouldn’t want to corrupt your young blood,” Ayanna added.

  I just giggled and enjoyed watching my friends play with him.

  “Well, don’t let the babyface fool you. Many a woman has been foolish enough to make that mistake. Besides, you ladies look like you know how to have fun. I share the sentiment,” Mario, our waiter replied placing his hand to his chest for emphasis.

  “Cute. I bet you’re a hit in the freshmen dorm,” Ayanna joked.

  Mario laughed at that one too. “I am, and in the senior dorms too.”

  He seemed to be looking only at Ayanna. For the first time in my life, I noticed her smiling bashfully as she turned away.

  “Well, what do you know... a kid can make the pretty lady smile? How about dessert ladies?” Mario asked switching from mack mode back to waiter for the moment.

  “None for me thanks. Like I need any more pounds on these thighs,” I said half-joking, half-serious.

  “Me either. I am stuffed,” Ciara said.

  “I’ll take a hot fudge sundae. With heavy whipped cream,” Ayanna ordered.

  “Coming right up,” Mario said and he left to place the order.

  We looked at Ayanna. “Since when do you order dessert, Miss Thing?” I asked.

  “Since I discovered how sexy twenty-somethings are!” she exclaimed, and we all laughed at that one.

  “Yanna, he is flirting with you heavy! You better stop with your old ass before they lock you up and throw away the key,” Ciara joked.

  “Oh please, I’m like a fine wine. I don’t age, I get better!”

  “You better say it girl!” I yelled while we high fived each other. Then my cell phone rang.

  “Eva, I need to talk to you.”

  I sighed. “What Damien? What do you want and why must you continue to ruin my day?”

  “I know you’re pissed. You have every right to be. But please baby, I can explain.”

  “Explain what Damien? What the hell do you have to explain? I don’t want to hear a damn thing you gotta say!”

  “Baby, don’t do this. Are you at home right now?”

  “No, I am not.”

  “When can I see you?”

  “How about the fifth of never?”

  “Come on Eva, give a brotha a chance,” he begged.

  “Are you serious? Damien, coming within five feet of me right now would be hazardous to your health. You don’t give a fuck about me, and I certainly don’t give a fuck about your disrespectful ass! Do yourself a favor and don’t call me anymore!”

  I exhaled deeply and slammed my cell phone down. Damn him for messing up my mood on this perfect afternoon. I shook my head from side to side in disgust.

  “Girl don’t you let that fool get to you. Don’t even answer the phone anymore for him. It’s only going to stress you out more as if that’s even possible,” Ciara said.

  “Yeah Eva, we were having a good time. Let’s continue that. Besides, I don’t want your funky little mood messing things up with me and Mr. Jailbait,” Ayanna said with a wink.

  I hated to, but I had to laugh at my friend. Soon, the three of us where laughing and giving high fives like schoolgirls again. Mario was amused when he returned
to refill our glasses.

  “Are you ladies going to let me in on the big joke now or what?” he asked all of us, but he only laid eyes on Ayanna.

  She bit her lip and kept a sly grin on her face. Ciara and I looked at each other and then back at the two of them. I mouthed Uh-oh to Ciara and she suppressed a giggle.

  “Boy, you are a persistent little fucker aren’t you?” Ayanna replied.

  “You better know it,” was his reply.

  Good one baby boy, I thought. I saw a light flicker in Ayanna’s eyes, and it was something to witness. Ayanna is one of the most in control sistahs I know, and she never folds under pressure, especially not when it comes to men. This time though, Ayanna was actually speechless.

  What the hell? Is that heffa blushing? Oh, I was thoroughly enjoying the moment.

  “That’s definitely important,” she said. “Does that apply to everything you do?”

  Mario leaned in so close to my friend I thought he was going to kiss her.

  “I can show you much better than I can tell you. Why don’t you give me your number and I’ll call you when I get off to see if I can show you?”

  Ciara leaned back in her seat, smiled, and mumbled “Damn.”

  I just watched. I was so impressed by Mario that I hadn’t even thought to ask him exactly how old he was. Right about now his age was the last thing on any of our minds. Without missing a beat, Ayanna whipped out a pen and Mario handed her a slip of paper he had tucked in the waist of his apron.

  Good Lord, does he have a brother? A cousin? Hell, is his daddy single? I’ll do an older man. Think I won’t when I will!

  “Here’s your check ladies. If you need anything else, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll see you later beautiful,” he said as he took Ayanna’s hand to his delectable lips and kissed it.

  “Says who?” she asked raising an eyebrow.

  “Your eyes,” was Mario’s only reply as he began to back slowly away from our table.

  About one beat passed after he was out of earshot before we began laughing uncontrollably.

  “Yanna, if you don’t answer that man’s calls, give him my number!” That came from Ciara.

  “I know that’s right!” I co-signed. “Yanna, what are you doing? Are you okay? Any other time you would’ve read junior the riot act and then told him exactly where he could go. What’s up girl?”

  She sighed. “Oh Lord, I don’t know,” was all she could say.

  We laughed.

  “Y’all are some silly chicks,” Ayanna said. “But for real, you think I should see what baby boy has to offer?”

  “Hell yes we do!” Ciara answered for the both of us. “Look at you, girl! You’ve been blushing ever since he left this table. I haven’t seen that look in your eyes in I don’t know how long. No one’s saying fall in love, but hell, have some fun with his young ass! He might show you a trick or two that you forgot.”

  “I didn’t even ask him how old he was! He mentioned the senior dorms at school, but he could be any age and that didn’t mean he’s a senior either. And ho, I’m only thirty! What you mean by ‘he might show me something I forgot?’ If anybody is up on the game, it’s me!”

  I high-fived Ayanna for that one. “I know that’s right!”

  “Well, I have to run ladies. Please believe, we’ll have much to talk about tomorrow,” Ayanna winked as she stood to leave.

  We exchanged hugs. I left the restaurant with Ciara while Ayanna raced off back to her nine to five.

  “Was that a trip or what?”

  “I ain’t mad at her. Mario is fine and confident. Where are all the thirty-something year old men with that combination?”

  “If I had the answer to that one, I wouldn’t be dodging this mobile leash that apparently Damien thinks he has on me.”

  Ciara’s face became serious all of a sudden. She stopped walking and touched my arm.

  “I know I don’t tell you often, but Eva, I love you girl. I hate to see you hurting like this. I saw how Tyler looked at you. Normally I don’t condone jumping out of the frying pan into the fire, but this shit with Damien is so messed up that some immediate damage control is in order. I’m going to give Tyler your phone number, and you are going to talk to him and let him do whatever it is that he wants to do to you. If you can still remember Damien’s name after that, then we’ll just have to move on to Plan B.”

  “What’s Plan B?”

  “Aww hell, I don’t know yet. I didn’t plan that far ahead. If Tyler has it going on like I think he does, we won’t even need a Plan B!”

  “You’re silly girl, just plain old silly. And that’s why I love you too Ciara,” I said with all honesty. We hugged the tightest sistah-girl hug and held back the tears.

  When we got back to Ciara’s house, Tyler and Brian were gone, much to my dismay. However, things perked up when Jay walked into the kitchen and told me that Tyler wanted to know if he could call me sometime. Ciara gave up my digits faster than I could.

  “Damn girl,” Jay laughed and kissed his woman on the lips.

  “What?” she asked innocently.

  “Nothing, Ciara. So it’s cool with you, Eva?” Jay asked while smiling at Ciara.

  “Yeah, it’s cool Jay. You can give Tyler my number. Ciara, I’m going on to pick up my kids. I’m going to take them to the movies this afternoon.

  “Oh okay. Eva, call me later okay?”

  “You already know I will,” I said as I turned to leave.

  I decided to dedicate that afternoon to family time. My kids and I enjoyed a fun-filled afternoon full of video arcade games, Putt-Putt Golf, and some kiddie movie that I actually enjoyed. We ordered pizza afterwards and had a nice family dinner discussion.

  “What’s wrong momma?” my ten-year-old son, Miles, asked.

  “Nothing baby, I’m fine,” I said as I attempted to smile.

  I know he knew I was lying. Miles is so perceptive for a ten year old, always picking up on things whenever something isn’t right.

  “You look sad,” my seven-year-old daughter Kayla said.

  “I’m just tired you guys, that’s all. Don’t worry, okay?”

  I looked at both of my angels as they nodded their heads in agreement. They are so precious and dear to me. I’d give my life for them. The unconditional love of a child is so amazing. No matter what happens, they keep on loving you anyway. My heart breaks because they have seen me continuously broken hearted over a good for nothing dog like Damien. That time is over. If I can’t be strong enough to break the cycle for myself, then I can at least do it for them.

  I have a daughter whom I’d die for before I sat back and allowed her to go through all that I have been through with Damien. I’d promptly give Miles a swift kick in the behind if he ever let me catch him dogging a woman. I know that the knowledge instilled in children from the beginning will build the foundation for the type of human beings they will grow up to become. Children don’t always follow the path their parents choose for them but parents still need to set the standard and raise the bar high.

  That night after Miles and Kayla were gone to bed, I noticed a small piece of paper folded and placed on my bed. I opened it. It was a letter from Miles. Tears immediately formed in my eyes. I was speechless.

  Dear Momma,

  I know you have been sad lately, and I know it’s something to do with Damien. I want you to know that I love you and I don’t want to see you hurting anymore. You have so many people that love you. Me, Kayla, Granny, God. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you, and I don’t want you to cry anymore, especially not over some man. We are here for you, so please, momma, don’t cry anymore, and don’t be sad anymore okay? We love you so much.

  Love,

  Miles

  I was crying so hard I had to put down the letter so that I wouldn’t get the pages wet. I know my son is perceptive, but I had no idea that I’ve been so transparent! What kind of mother am I that I let my kids see me so distraught over a man?

 
; Damn, I was slippin. This shit is for the birds, and if it’s affecting my kids that’s a definite no-no.

  The chirping of my cell phone brought me back from my thoughts. It was a text from Damien. He wanted to say hello and see how I was doing. How in the hell did he think I was doing? I didn’t reply back at all. The next message read: I’m really sorry. Can you ever forgive me?

  Is he serious? Each text was just as pitiful as the last. Repeated “I’m sorry” and “Can I come over so we can talk?”

  For what? So this time can end up the way every other episode always did? With us talking for awhile, me crying most of the time, and then us sleeping together like nothing ever happened? I’m not having it. Someone has to end the cycle or it will continue on forever. As hard as it was, I deleted every text message from that sorry S.O.B. and started channel surfing. Anything to keep me from responding to his insanity.

  Chapter 4

  The next day was Saturday, and I met up with Ciara and Ayanna to do a little shopping. There’s something about that very first warm day just before Spring becomes official that makes everyone enjoy being outside that much more.

  “Ayanna, you have been awfully hard to catch up with these days. What’s been going on with you?” Ciara asked.

  “Y’all ain’t even ready for what I gotta tell y’all. Now you know I wasn’t even trying to hear Mario right? Well, one night the brother called, and we had a three-hour conversation. We decided to meet for drinks and to shoot some pool. We had a good time and afterwards Mario came back to my place. As soon as we hit the door all discussions were off, and so were all of our clothes!”

  We laughed so hard, and then Ayanna continued her story.

  “Honey, from the front door to the bedroom clothes came off and shoes went in opposite directions. Mario grabbed me by the waist and pressed me as close to him as possible without us making love. There was no need for words. We both knew what we wanted and we had fun chasing that goal together. Mario had me experiencing feelings that I never knew existed. Girls that boy sucked my toes and licked behind my kneecaps, had me on cloud nine. Then he got to my middle. It was already so hot and moist that he just looked up at me and smiled. I guided him to my spot and he was down there so long I lost all my senses.