Love Me or Leave Me Alone Read online

  CHAPTER 1

  I was very surprised to see my man Damien’s car in the driveway when I got home from work.

  Hmmm, maybe I can get in a quickie before I have to pick up my kids, I thought to myself as I walked into the house.

  Immediately, I noticed that something seemed off. Soft music was coming from the bedroom, but that wasn’t a big deal. Just as I was about to call out Damien’s name, I could hear heavy breathing coming from my bedroom. What the hell?

  When I got to the door of my room, I could not believe my eyes. There, on my bed, my man was giving the straight business to some chick with cocoa brown legs. Maybe it was a moment of shock or something, I don’t know, but I just stood there stunned. I tilted my head to one side like a dog trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

  It must have taken Miss Cocoa Brown Legs about a millisecond to realize I was there because somewhere between her passionate cries of ‘Oh, Damien! Yes, Daddy! Right there, Damien,’ she lazily opened then closed her eyes. Then she opened them again and screamed.

  Before she could get a good yelp out, I picked up the floor lamp and threw it as hard as I could. The lamp, lampshade, and light bulb hit Damien in the back so hard that pieces of the shattered bulb hit Miss Cocoa Brown Legs in the face. She was lucky it wasn’t my fist.

  “Ouch! What the fu__,” Damien yelled as he turned around.

  Before he could finish, I was swinging my baseball bat as fast and hard as I could. He ducked and the bitch he was screwing in my bed rolled out of the way just in the nick of time.

  “You sorry son of bitch, I should kill you!” I screamed, still swinging my Louisville slugger.

  “Eva, yo, I’m sssssorry. Please, buh buh baby, let me explain!”

  “Explain what you bastard? How the fuck you going to explain fucking some random bitch in my house?” I yelled.

  “Hold up, I ain’t even know he had a girl and as far as bitch you don’t know me like that so…” she tried to say.

  Before she could finish her sentence, I hauled off and slapped the dog shit out of her. I was livid! I think I blacked out. All I remember is swinging that damn bat like a wild woman, straight trashing my place. They both made a mad dash for the door, grabbing clothes, shoes, and whatever else they could in order to get the hell out of dodge.

  “Eva, man shit, quit swinging that damn bat and let me talk to you!” Damien was yelling while dodging my bat at the same time.

  “Fuck you! Get the fuck up out of MY house before I catch a first-degree murder charge! Get out!”

  I swung one more time and put a decent dent in my door as Damien slammed it shut. I opened it fast and attempted to run out, but my elderly neighbor, Mr. Wiley, was quickly approaching from next door.

  “Eva! Eva! Girl, what in the hell is going on? Put that bat down before you mess around and hit me with it,” Mr. Wiley was saying with his hands up as if I had a gun.

  At that moment, I wish I did have a gun. I would’ve sent both of those muthafuckas straight to hell.

  “Move outta my way, Mr. Wiley. Do you know what that asshole did?” I screamed through tears that I hadn’t even known were falling until that moment.

  “Well, I can just about imagine judging by what I just saw. That gal tried to kick Damien’s nuts back up into his stomach. Oooweee! I ain’t never seen somebody fall down from so much pain. But he got back up real quick though, rubber still hangin from his jimmy and all. He took off running for his car,” he said, managing to get in a good chuckle at his own joke.

  “I don’t see what’s funny, Mr. Wiley,” I said, breathing hard and trying to calm myself down. We were back inside my house now because somehow he’d managed to make me back up and go back inside.

  “Aww baby girl look, it happens to the best of us. But you running around here swinging bats and all will not make it any better. So he got one off on you. Don’t lose yourself in the process. Take it as a lesson learned. That little pretty boy ain’t meant you no good since you met him. Me and my baby, Lucy, always used to say that. But you seemed happy so we minded our business. What’s done is done now, Eva. You win some and you lose some, baby girl.”

  I was still crying, but I was also listening to Mr. Wiley. I was steaming mad. I wanted to scream, yell, and throw shit. I wanted to cause some major damage, and his pep talk was not helping at all.

  “I don’t want to hear all that right now, Mr. Wiley. I can’t believe he did this to me! Not after all we’ve been through. Not after all that I’ve put up with from him. I’m sorry for my tone, but I want to kill him right now,” I said, instantly crying again.

  “Well, I can’t say that I know how you feel, but I can imagine. All I’m going to say is you going to have to let this mess go girl. Listen, I’ll leave you be but you remember what I told you, ya hear?”

  I almost blurted out ‘yes paw’ but I refrained. He was right and deep down I knew that. I nodded my head and he turned to leave, closing the door behind him. Inside I was a mess. I dropped the bat and just stood there for a few minutes. I was in shock. What kinda man does this to his girlfriend that he claims he loves so much? My head was starting to spin.

  I walked back to my room and was immediately pissed all over again. There, in the middle of my brand new comforter was a sick looking wet spot, and everything was all rumpled and falling off the bed. I turned around and ran to the door, snatching it open, bat in hand again. But Damien was gone. It was a good thing too. Because I was about to cause some serious damage. He dodged a huge bullet just then. And Miss Cocoa Brown Legs did too.

  Chapter 2

  I took the next day off from work. I was in no mood to be talking to helpless customers about their broken down refrigerators and washing machines. I’d attempted to sleep on my surprisingly comfortable couch the previous night since I couldn’t bring myself to sleep in my tainted bed. I burned the sheets and my comforter. It was extremely hard for me to do that. I did receive some pleasure in it though as I envisioned Damien and Miss Cocoa Brown Legs being burned alive wrapped up together like two pigs in a blanket. When my imagination was beginning to get the best of me, I decided to call my best friend, Ayanna.

  “Girl, sitting over there plotting a hundred ways to kill someone and get away with it is not going to make this ugly situation any better,” Ayanna joked. I didn’t see the humor in it.

  “Not in the mood for your sarcasm today Ayanna,” I whined.

  “Ah girl, you know I’m just messing with you. I’m with you on this. If you say let’s go out on a mad stakeout to hunt this trick down and kick her ass, I’m with you. If you say let’s go see Damien, tie his ass up, pour honey all over him, then sit his ass outside for the bees, I’m with you as well. But honestly, I think you’ve used up enough energy on the both of them as it is. Don’t give any more of yourself to this insanity. What he did was not only wrong, but it was disrespectful to the fullest. This isn’t the first time that he’s done something like this, so honestly, are you really that surprised?”

  That question hurt. I had to pause and think about that for a minute. Yes, Damien had been caught slipping on more occasions than I’d ever admit to myself or anyone else but God. But I still loved him and I’d chosen to look past all of his previous indiscretions. Besides, does a man’s infidelity and disrespect ever get old? Does it ever get any less painful no matter how many times you allow it to happen?

  I have an even better question-Just because it’s a man’s first or fifty-first time being unfaithful, are you ever prepared for it when it happens? I should’ve been asking Ayanna, my old buddy, old pal all of these questions.

  Instead I answered with a weak, “No, I’m not exactly surprised per say, I’m just mad and hurt that he would sin
k to this level of low. He had that bitch in my house, Ayanna, in my bed, on my damn brand new mattress and comforter set!”

  Ayanna laughed and I had to chuckle at my last statement myself.

  “Stop laughing, I’m supposed to be mad,” I whined between giggles.

  “I’m sorry but I just don’t know what you’re mad at the most, him screwing that girl in your house or the fact that he did it on your new mattress and sheets,” she managed to somehow say while laughing hysterically.

  I laughed harder. There’s nothing like a true friend to help you find the humor in an otherwise jacked up situation. I still wasn’t ready for the whole scenario to be written off as another lesson learned, but my despair was beginning to ease off the longer I talked to my friend.

  “I really just want to know why he did it. I mean, I have my shortcomings. We all do. But have I been that bad that he felt the need to not only cheat on me but also bring the mess to my home? Where me and my kids sleep at night? The home that I opened up to his sorry ass and allowed him to have free reign in? I don’t understand this shit at all. If things were that bad, why couldn’t he have just left or better yet, why didn’t he take Miss Cocoa Brown Legs to a Motel 6 or something? Why didn’t he take her to his messy crib? Any place would’ve been better than my house!” My voice began to crack and I felt the tears coming on full force although I tried my best to fight it.

  “Don’t you dare start crying again! Damien’s sorry ass not even worth all your tears. I know you love him, and wondering what you did to make him treat you like this again, but honey, you may never know the true answers to any of the million questions running through your mind. I listened to Ayanna and heard every word she said but still couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Eva, you know men come a dime a dozen, Ayanna continued. You can even buy your sexual pleasures in stores these days. . Sure, it hurts now, Eva, and you’re allowed to take as much time as you need to get over it. Just promise me one thing. Promise me that you will learn from this experience. Don’t continue to miss all the messages that God is obviously giving you. Honey, you know I love you and I hate to see you hurting again over this boy. When I see him, I’m putting my size nines so far up his ass he’ll think he’s getting a colonoscopy! And why you keep calling that girl Miss Cocoa Brown Legs anyway?” she laughed.

  I laughed so hard I almost peed on myself. Just when my sister from another mother seemed to be shedding some much-needed words of wisdom, she resorted back to her true self and honestly, I wouldn’t have her any other way.

  After chatting with Ayanna for about another hour, I picked up a new book I’d been promising myself I’d read but never got around to it. After reading just one page, I quickly realized that I’d made a huge mistake by putting off reading the book for so long. Ayanna and our other homegirl, Ciara, always teased me about being a bookworm because I read so much. Sometimes I spend entire days in the house just reading. It relaxes me to bury myself in a good book. They can call me what they want. If it keeps my mind off Damien, I was willing to try anything at the moment.

  Before I knew it, it was getting dark out and I was halfway done with the book. It is so fascinating to read about characters and events that I can relate too and yet have nothing in common with at the same time. The main character was a major piece of work. A beautiful brat that seemed to make a living of seeing just how much trouble she could get herself into while she maintained the highest self-esteem I’d ever heard of. Where does that come from? I wondered.

  Damien always told me how beautiful I was and that he didn’t care if I wore a green shirt and brown polka dot pants, he’d love me anyway. He was so good at complimenting me and attempting to boost my self-esteem. How can a man be so sweet and thoughtful in one minute, and turn into a total dog and womanizer in the next?

  CHAPTER 3

  The number one ladies anthem, Irreplaceable by Beyoncé was playing on the radio, and my girl, Ciara, was singing at the top of her lungs. It was a sight to behold let me tell you. I must’ve stood there for five minutes ringing that stupid doorbell before she realized I was there.

  “Damn girl, I like the song too but I am not feeling it nearly as much as you are,” I laughed.

  “Girl, you know that Beyoncé has never made a better song in her life! I’m recording this song and playing the whole thing on Jay’s answering machine,” Ciara laughed.

  “Now why would you want to do that? You guys are still together,” I said.

  “And I can find another him in a minute. Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute, babaaayyy,” Ciara sang, changing the words a little to fit what she meant.

  “You are so crazy girl,” I laughed.

  She smiled, “So what’s up, E? Have you heard from Mr. Lost His Damn Mind today?”

  “No girl, and please don’t bring up his name. I’m trying not to think about him today. So what’s up with you? How’s Jay?” I diverted the conversation to a more comfortable topic. Or so I thought.

  Ciara just paused for a minute. She got this far away look on her face that I am very familiar with and was probably her mirror reflection at the moment.

  She sighed.” Sometimes, I look at Jay and I can’t believe how wonderful he is. Then other times, I’m just staring at him trying to see if I can find the lies behind those big hazel eyes of his. Girl, one morning I scared the shit out of him. He woke up and I was just sitting there staring down at him. He looked like he had seen a damn ghost and jumped straight up talking about ‘What? What’s wrong? What happened?’

  We shared a good laugh at that, but I can tell something is up. Ciara has been with Jay for about seven years. For the most part, their relationship is one to be envied. Jay is a technician at a well-known pharmaceutical company and he takes very good care of Ciara. Ciara works as a dental hygienist and makes good money for herself as well, but, there is nothing like having a true grown ass man taking care of you at the same time, a real man who knows how to take care of home.

  They don’t have any kids together, but Jay has an 8-year-old son by another girl. Surprisingly enough, Ciara and Jay’s son’s mom have never had any altercations or misunderstandings. They actually get along quite well. The idea that the new woman can’t get along with the ex when there is a child involved is a myth.

  I’m proud of Ciara for the way she handles the situation. I’m glad that she’s finally found a man that makes her smile and feel whole. Jay seems like a stand up guy to me, and for that, the brother has my respect. Of course they have their issues just like anyone else, but they have this chemistry that I adore, and they never seem to argue, at least not for long anyway.

  “I’m not saying he’s a liar, but sometimes I just wonder. He’s changing, Eva. I don’t know what it is, but something’s off.”

  “Well, you know a woman’s intuition is often right. Hey, where is Jay anyway?” I asked Ciara.

  “At the gym with Tyler and Brian. Oh girl, by the way, have you seen Tyler lately?” Ciara’s voice had dropped a whole octave. She was almost whispering.

  “No. Why?” I whispered and giggled.

  “Eva, you can laugh now, but do me a favor and just stick around until they get here. They should be on their way back any minute now.”

  The little smirk Ciara had on her face only meant one thing. Ciara’s trying to play matchmaker.

  “Oh hell no, Cici, don’t even try it!” I laughed and pushed her playfully.

  “What? All I asked was if you’ve seen him,” she tried to say with a straight face, but failed miserably.

  “Mmmm hmmm,” I smirked.

  Before I could say another word, Ciara’s front door opened. I swear I almost pissed on myself. Jay walked in looking as good as ever with his famous hazel eyes and wide smile. His brother, Brian, was behind him. He spoke to me as usual with his equally fine self. But then, like a breath of fresh air, in walked Jay’s best friend, Tyler.

  Thank the good Lord for visions like that! Even though he was fresh out the gym and all sweat
y and probably funky, this man was gorgeous! I think I actually imagined licking the sweat right off of his big muscular chest.

  “Sup Eva? How you been doing with your sexy self?” Tyler smiled at me.

  I would answer him and tell him exactly how I’m doing, but for the life of me, I could not speak!

  He laughed and asked, “Hey, you okay, E?”

  When he called me by my nickname, I almost lost it. I had visions of knocking everything off of Ciara’s coffee table and demanding that Tyler do all kinds of nasty dirty things to me.

  I coughed, “Yeah Tyler, I’m cool. How have you been?”

  Ciara’s two-faced ass sat beside me giggling under her breath until I discreetly elbowed her in the side.

  “I’m good. Just trying to stay alive and well. How are Miles and Kayla?” he asked about my kids.

  “Oh they’re fine. I took vacation from my job and those two for the day though,” I laughed and looked away from Tyler before I drooled all over myself.

  He laughed too. “Now why didn’t you let a brother know you were playing hooky? I might’ve been able to keep you company or something.”

  Lord have mercy! I swear my sugar honey gumdrop started twitching something terrible! It was beginning to like Tyler a whole lot.

  “Tyler, don’t be trying to pull any of your player-player moves on my homegirl. I might have to jack you up for that,” Ciara teased.

  “Nah, you know I wouldn’t disrespect. Ain’t that right, E?”

  If he calls me E one more time, I’m taking him home and never letting him rest for at least a week.

  I played the innocent role. “I don’t know what either one of you are talking about.”

  “Check out the sweet and innocent act Eva got going on,” Jay laughed.

  “Mind your business, Jay,” Ciara told him with a wink.

  Jay winked back. “A’ight, a’ight, I gotcha.”

  “Got what?” I asked. “Don’t even go there with me, Jay.”