Love Me or Leave Me Alone 2 Read online

  I’d just come in from a long night’s work at my newest gig. Instead of going back to work at my boring 9-5 job, I decided to make my leave of absence more permanent. I moved to Raleigh and found another, more interesting place of employment. I opened my bag and emptied out a load of cash. I couldn’t stand the clothes that had now begun to stick to me from sweating so much so I stripped down to my bra and boy shorts. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I began to count my cash.

  Not bad tonight, I thought to myself. Not bad at all.

  The customers were heavy tippers and I was killing them all with my charm. I had them eating out of the palms of my hands. It’s a shame what a little alcohol can do to a man with deep pockets. I am not complaining, trust and believe that. The drunker they got, the more money I made, so their contributions to cirrhosis of the liver was good for my business.

  I decided to take a shower instead of soaking in my tub because my feet were killing me and it was four in the morning. Just as the bathroom was getting steamed up from the heat of the water that was running, my cell phone began to ring. It startled me at first because I wasn’t expecting anyone to be calling me this late. Before I could walk across my room to get the phone, my doorbell started ringing.

  Before answering either my phone or door, I reached into my nightstand drawer and pulled out Roxy, my pink .22 caliber revolver. Ever since all that shit with Dre’s crazy ass, I’ve been strapped. Something changed in me after all that. I’m not sure what it was, but it definitely made me look at life and men in a whole new light.

  I tiptoed slowly to the door. I simultaneously hit the silence button on my cell to stop the ringing. The doorbell went off again. I stopped a few feet from my front door and just waited. The person on the other end of the door began to knock. At first it was a soft, slow knock, but it got louder and harder.

  “Yanna! Open this muthafuckin door! I know you in there and I know you ain’t sleep neither because your shift probably just ended. C’mon now girl, quit playin. It’s colder than a muthafucka out here.”

  Ahhh shit, I said under my breath. Shaking my head, I removed my trigger finger from Roxy and opened the door.

  “Do you know what time it is? I have neighbors, fool. Stop acting like you don’t have any home training and get your ass in here, damn.”

  “I’m sayin girl, it’s cold and a nigga tired as hell. What took you so long to answer the door? Who you got up in here?”

  I mushed him. “Fool, I just got home. No one’s in here because if there was someone here, you would’ve never gotten in.”

  “Oh I would’ve got in, one way or another. Play with it if you want to. Who’s in the shower?”

  “My, my, nosey aren’t we?”

  He grabbed me. “Girl, you got a smart ass mouth you know that?”

  Before I could answer, he grabbed my ass with one hand and pulled me in closer with the other. He then pulled my ponytail so tight that my head jerked backwards and he started kissing and biting me on my neck. I was about to say something but he pulled my hair again and stuffed his tongue halfway down my throat. Instead of resisting, I kissed him right back with a vengeance. I pulled his locs and forced him to give me equal control. He grunted and started unbuckling his pants. I grabbed his manhood which was already rock hard and set that bad boy free so I could look down at it.

  “What you lookin at?” he said to me in that raspy voice of his that I loved.

  “What’s mine for the night,” I answered as he reached around me and unfastened my bra.

  No other words were spoken. We undressed each other. He picked me up like I weighed nothing and tossed me down on my bed. As I landed, I slid Roxy underneath my pillow. He saw that. He smirked then moved away from me long enough to grab his glock from his jeans and put it under the other pillow beside my head. It was my turn to smirk.

  He mumbled, “Sexy ass” and smiled down at me.

  I bit my bottom lip and grabbed him by the waist. He placed his dick real close to the heat between my legs then rubbed it gently against me. He plunged into me without mercy. I scratched his back, bit his neck, and pulled his locs. I cursed him to the moon and back and he told me to shut the fuck up and take it.

  When I could no longer contain my screams, he flipped me over and devoured me from the back. I have no idea how he managed to get to all the right places in that position but he did and I think I came on his nose. The nastier I got, the better he liked it. I think it turned him on to see me wild and without inhibitions. I could be carefree with him and not give a damn about what he was thinking of me. When my love had almost completely come down, he got up from his position and then entered me from behind. I let out a loud gasp and grabbed the sheets.

  Every time he would thrust forward, I pushed back into him with equal force. I matched his rhythm pound for pound and I know he loved it. He picked up the pace and I matched his movements pound for pound. He was on a mission to take me over the edge and back again.

  I started grinding my hips and threw it back at him to let him know I wasn’t going out without a fight. We came together. He let out the roar of a lion and I screamed my ecstasy into the pillow in front of me.

  “I was gonna suggest we shower together but I’m sure I have no hot water left now,” I chuckled.

  “It’s alright. I’m fucked up and you just fucked me up even more. Come lay your pretty ass down with me. We got plenty of time to get clean. What’s the point in taking a shower anyway if I’m just gonna get you sweaty all over again?”

  “Cocky ass,” I said with a smile. “What makes you think we’ll be doing anything else to get sweaty anyway? It’s 5a.m. Let’s just go to sleep. I’ll ride your morning wood in a few hours.”

  Dark brown eyes stared me down and I returned the favor. Sweat had dampened his skin and it looked like his chest was glowing in the dim light of my room. He patted the spot beside him on the bed and I walked slowly over to him and sat down. He rubbed my right leg from my thigh all the way up and once he reached my softness he didn’t stop. First, he inserted one finger, then another. I tried to fight the feeling he was giving me. I tried not to let out the moans that were dying to escape from my lips. But he knew exactly how and where to touch me. I grunted and my mouth dropped open.

  “Yeah. That’s what I thought. Quit playing girl. You know I didn’t come over here for no quickie. That ain’t even my style. Not tonight anyway. You gonna gimme this here. And I know this because your pussy says yes. fuck what you talking about.”

  He grabbed both thighs and pulled me forward until I was sprawled out on my back. He was standing at the foot of my bed and he pulled me forward again until I was at the edge of the bed, legs spread eagle, showing him all of my glory. I didn’t say a single word. He was rock hard again.

  This time he began to grind on me slowly. He worked his hips so good it looked like he was about to give me a lap dance. Every time he pushed deeper inside, I struggled to catch my breath, and every time he pulled slightly away, I felt like I could cry. He worked me slowly and passionately like that until we climaxed together again. Then he laid down behind me as I curled up into him. He put his big muscular arm around me and before my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

  Chapter Three

  Ciara

  “For the last time, if you have nothing to say, please stop calling my phone!” I yelled into the phone.

  These private calls were really getting old. At first, I wouldn’t answer them at all but they either kept calling back or they’d let my voicemail come on and just sit there breathing heavily into the phone. I had my suspicions of who it might be but I wasn’t about to give them the satisfaction of saying that into the phone.

  I knew in my heart it was Jay. At the beginning of the breakup, he never called me. He never tried to get back together with me or gave me the time of day. I was hurt and mad as hell and I didn’t want him back, but for him to walk away just like that? It made me feel like all those years of loving him and putting up wit
h his bullshit had been in vain. I’d even helped raised the child that he’d loved and thought was his. Eva told me about a year ago, Jay found out that the kid wasn’t even his. Ain’t karma a bitch?

  I would never wish ill will on anyone but Eva said Jay was so distraught that he lost his job due to missing so many days. She said he’d gone through a serious bout of depression. The old sensitive side of me wanted to reach out to him because if the news had me torn up inside, I could only imagine how he was feeling.

  Tysheen had been Jay’s heart and I’d grown to love his cute little self too. Raising a child for ten years only to find out they’re not yours biologically has got to be a tough pill to swallow. But it was Jay’s cross to bear, it was no longer mine, and any thoughts of calling him swiftly went sailing out the window. Jay was Asia’s problem now. I decided to move on and I did. Well, sort of.

  Since Jay left to be with Asia, I realized there was no use holding on to the memories and wishing things had turned out different. So I dusted myself off and got myself together. I decided to do something that would make me feel better. I went and got a mani/pedi then I stopped by Rita’s to get my hair layed.

  “Ciara, where you been girl?” Tina, Rita’s twin sister asked when I walked into the salon.

  “Honey, I’ve just been in my own little world and neglecting my hair at the same time,” I chuckled.

  “You sure have, that much is obvious,” Rita said with playful sarcasm.

  “Don’t start with me today, Rita, not when I need you so bad,” I pouted and poked my lip out.

  “Girl, bye. Pick up that lip and all that junk in the trunk and come on to my chair,” Rita laughed. She always made jokes about my butt because hers was flatter than SpongeBob’s entire backside.

  “You are the only person I allow to talk junk to me and you know it’s only because you are the only one that can do my hair exactly the way that I like it.”

  “So please shut up and let me see this mess you call hair.”

  Upon hair inspection, Rita recommended that I go with a deep conditioning and a blow out. That sounded perfect to me so I said let’s do it. Then came the gossip. I knew it would only be a matter of time before she started.

  “So Ciara, what’s been up girl? We haven’t seen you in a month of Sundays. What’s his name?”

  “See there you go, why does it have to be because of some guy? I’ve just been busy, that’s all.”

  “Chile please! With you young girls these days, it is always about some guy.”

  “Well not for me. I need a break from all the drama and lies. I have had enough for a lifetime, I swear.”

  She sighed. “Tell me about it. I’m not sure what Roger’s problem is but I think he’s got a side chick. If I find out, we are done. I’m too old to be going through this kind of mess.”

  “Really, Rita? Why do you think that?”

  I was shocked. Rita and Rodney had been together for as long as I’d known her so that had to be at least ten years.

  “Because he’s been keeping his phone extra close to him lately and he’s been staying out later than usual. One night his phone rang and before he could grab it up, I caught a glimpse of the number. I called it and some chick named Asia answered the phone.”

  I turned around so quick in her chair that she dropped the comb she was using on my hair.

  “Asia? No. It couldn’t be,” I said dismissing the idea.

  “Couldn’t be what, girl? Don’t tell me you know something I don’t and you ain’t said shit. Don’t make me burn your yellow ass with this flat iron,” Rita said, hands on hips and all.

  “Of course I don’t know anything. Why would you even think that? I just said that because the slut bucket Jay cheated on me with is named Asia. But there could be a million girls named Asia. The world isn’t that small. And heffa, I wish you would burn me. We will be two fighting fools up in here,” I said.

  “Girl, shut up! Rita, you think it could be the same Asia?” Tina yelled from her station across the room.

  “How would I know? I didn’t hear her voice.”

  “Well we can handle that right now,” Rita said as she picked up her phone, dialed a number, and placed it on speakerphone. It rang a few times and then the voicemail picked up.

  “Hey, this is Asia. You know what to do so leave it at the beep.”

  I just shook my head and chuckled a little. Well I’ll be damned.

  “What? Is it her Ciara?” Tina said.

  She had completely stopped doing her customer’s hair and all eyes in the salon were on me.

  I nodded, “Yep. That’s her alright. I see that shiesty bitch really gets around.”

  “Oh hell no. Rita! You ain’t said nothing to Rodney about this girl calling his phone?” Tina was livid.

  “No, I have not. Because I figured the truth would come to the light eventually and there it is,” Rita said calmly.

  “Girl you are better than me. All of his shit would have been outside on the porch waiting for him if that was me,” Tina’s customer butted in.

  “Well that’s just it, you ain’t me and I don’t go flipping the script every time I see a random number in Rodney’s phone. I’m no fool. I’m just waiting for the right time to bust him in his shit,” Rita said calmly.

  I understood where she was coming from. She had put in many years with Rodney. I’m sure it wasn’t going to be easy to give up like that. I wondered how Jay would feel if he found out that the chick he left me for was just another slut bucket. I shrugged that shit off and finished kicking it with the ladies in the salon until I was done.

  Chapter Four

  Eva

  I found the name of a therapist in my area, and made an appointment to see him. I chose him because his name sounded like he was black and I didn’t want another female judging me. I know a true professional isn’t supposed to judge their clients, but women are some of the most judgmental creatures on the planet. I decided to avoid that added paranoia.

  It seemed like my appointment came up in no time. I walked into the doctor’s office nervous as shit! I knew I had some things going on inside that I needed to talk to someone about but it wasn’t going to be easy to pour my heart out to a stranger.

  “Good morning. May I help you?” the pretty Latina at the front desk greeted me.

  “Yes, I’m here for an appointment with Dr. Jones,” I replied.

  “Okay. Please sign in here. What is your name?”

  “Eva Harris.”

  “Is this your first visit with Dr. Jones Miss Harris?”

  “Yes it is.”

  The receptionist proceeded to make copies of my insurance card and ID, and she gave me some paperwork to fill out. The questionnaire almost made me laugh at a few of the questions.

  Have you ever had thoughts of committing suicide? If so, do you have a plan?

  Do you hear voices or see things that aren’t there?

  Any thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else?

  Any thoughts of extreme anger or violence towards another individual?

  Okay, so the questions weren’t funny literally but that last one? Hell yeah I’ve had thoughts of extreme anger or violence towards someone else! Are you kidding me? I chuckled to myself and completed the questions.

  When I gave them back to the receptionist, she told me that the doctor would see me shortly. I took a seat and looked around the waiting room. The lights were dim and they had plush leather couches for their patients. There was a small TV playing and magazines on a coffee table. The overall atmosphere was comfortable. It was as if they wanted you to relax instantly when you walked in. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I jumped a little when the receptionist called my name to tell me to follow her.

  When she showed me to a half-opened door, I began to feel butterflies in my stomach. My palms started sweating. I was trying my best to get it together but my apprehension went up another ten notches when I walked through the office door. There, sitting behind a mahogany desk,
was one of the sexiest men I had ever seen in my life! He stood to greet me and reached his hand out to shake mine.

  “Hi, Miss Harris. I’m Dr. Jones. Please, come in and feel free to sit anywhere you’d like to,” he greeted me with a smile.

  I politely nodded my head and smiled. When our hands touched I felt instant electricity and I had to concentrate so that I wouldn’t jerk my hand back and offend the good Dr. He was gorgeous. Tall, medium build with apparent muscles that couldn’t really be hidden behind his starched white shirt. His hair was cut low but the waves on his head were on swim and could make a girl seasick. His eyes were a deep brown but I noticed right away that they weren’t black. He had a perfect smile that was inviting. I’m not sure why I was immediately thinking all these things about this man I had never met before but there was something about him that just drew me in.

  “So, Eva, tell me what brings you in to see me today?” He didn’t waste any time, I was thinking.

  I exhaled deeply. “Well I had a traumatic event happen to me about two years ago and even though for the most part I have gotten over it, there’s one thing keeping the memory of it all alive and that’s these nightmares that I keep having.”

  “I see. Can you tell me about these nightmares?”

  I told Dr. Jones all about Damien and the shooting and how the dreams end pretty much the way the situation had happened in real life. When Damien fired the shot, I saw a flash of white light and then everything went black. I was surprised that I was able to talk to him so freely but there was something about him that just made me feel comfortable.

  “I’d like for you to try something Eva. You said that most of the time you’re fine but then out of the blue, you might have a flashback of certain things that happened between you and Damien. The next time these thoughts attempt to creep back into your mind, I want you to think of a happier time in your life. It can be anything, but preferably one that doesn’t involve him. Can you think of any one thing that used to make you happy? Or maybe something that still makes you happy today?” asked Dr. Jones.